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Monday, December 2, 2013

Tom Daley, Coming Out, Sad Queens, And Bullshit On The Internet




It sometimes seems as if Tom Daley has been with us forever;  he's been put forward by the media as an object of lust from a very early age,  and it may be easy to forget that he is only 19 years old.  Yesterday he released a video in which he told the world that he was in a romantic relationship with another guy.  Didn't say that he was gay,  said he still "fancies" girls, but that right now he is dating a guy.  I don't really need to tell you this, though, because this news has already lit up the Internet, and everybody seems to have an opinion.  My opinion:  Good for you, young Tom.  I hope you are happy, and I'm proud of you for making the difficult decision to come out.  

Here's what gets my goat,  and it's got nothing to do with Tom Daley's actions.  I expect pig-ignorant, homophobic heterosexuals and closet cases to come out vocally against Tom's sexuality and his decision to make it public.  It has already begun.  What I don't expect is for members of the queer community to be equally hateful in their reactions. God knows, I should be used to it by now, as it happens every time a high profile person comes out. This is something that I first noticed when Ricky Martin came out in 2010.  

You see, there is a subset of the queer community that I call "Sad Queens."  I don't know whether or not there are a lot of Sad Queens, or if there's only a small amount of them who are extremely vocal. Either way, whenever a celebrity comes out, they are at every forum, message board, and comments section to spread their bile. 

The Sad Queen's first comment is always the same. "I'm not one bit surprised.  I knew it all along."  I believe in Gaydar, but the Sad Queen has flawless, infallible Gaydar. They don't just have a feeling, they know.

Next, they carefully parse the subjects words,  as if to somehow poke a hole in their story.  "He never actually says he's gay. He says he still likes girls.  This is an obvious lie.  He's a liar!  He's just saying this because it is more acceptable to be bi than it is to be gay (?) and he doesn't want to hurt his career."

Often the Sad Queen will parrot the homophobe's lie that it is completely unnecessary to come out in this enlightened age.  "Why should it matter? Straight boys never come out."

Finally we will get the cynical list of the "real" reasons why our subject decided to come out.  "He had to or the media would have outed him."  "He's doing it help his career."  Or this actual quote from Famous Male Forums: "He's saying it because he's been told to. This is the least genuine video ever."  He's been told to.  That's all we need to know.

I grow tired of the Sad Queens.  Tom Daley's declaration of his happiness and his love for another man should be a cause to rejoice,  but like everything else in the Sad Queens' miserable, little world,  it is merely becomes an excuse to air their cynicism,  and  to jack up their own egos.  Don't be a Sad Queen.  Choose life.

And congratulations to Tom Daley.  I'm very happy for him, and proud of him for choosing to live an open, honest life. 



2 comments:

Ryanos said...

Well said, Vera. Though celebrities grow up quickly, he's still only 19. I hope he has a good support system to keep the vultures away. I noticed today that Coitus Magazine followed him on Twitter. We know what they want him for.

bufs said...

Well said, Vera. Sadly, in these anonymous, online times there are always a few, vocal know-it-alls who downright rejoice in pooh-poohing any- and everything. So I suppose it should come as no surprise that our, erm, niche has its few. And isn't it always so extra disappointing?